Not anyone else's

From now on I am going to be a Christian on my own terms

Not anyone else's

But perhaps on Jesus's????

I don't know yet, still thinking about it

Madaba will guide me - he is my Upstairs and I am his Downstairs

I need to meditate on Jesus and what he wants

More to follow

But right now I definitely consider myself a Christian

I am beginning to brew some interesting ideas, in my mind

I will share some of them here at some point

I'm a madman on the internet

That is my calling

This is me doing my job!!!

But I think everything will work out alright in the end and that ultimately I will be vindicated

Now a Christian again!

For while lately I stopped identifying as a Christian, for various reasons

However, I now identify as a Christian because:

1. I worship God with Christians, in a Christian congregation in a Christian church
2. I have Jesus Christ as a moral authority, whose teachings I try to follow

Jesus Christ is my guru, my spiritual master, and I believe him to be divine in nature and that he is alive and active in our world today and very much an immanent presence albeit a mostly invisible one, and I believe his influence to be tangible

I think those two things qualify me as a Christian

I will post a more detailed confession of my personal faith at some later point

Although this whole project is not really about me, I still use it as a place to blog about my own journey and beliefs

Here is a pic of me getting baptized, shortly before the COVID pandemic:

Am I a Christian?

Am I a Christian?

Short answer: Yes

But allow me to expand!

If there was an historic Jesus then I somewhat doubt that he’d correspond directly to the Jesus of the gospels

But I am pretty sure that such a man did exist, in a way that inspired the gospels

That's just the way my mind works and I cannot readily account for that belief

Although I think it is likely that much has been added to those, as well as much removed and much modified

Did he rise from the dead? I have no idea, I wasn’t there

But I go along with the idea that he did, as a matter of faith

Although granted, the gospels could have been divinely inspired in one way or another

However, I like to imagine that there was such a man, who lived a remarkable and exemplary life and was full of wisdom even if things weren’t exactly as they are recorded as having been in the bible

I also believe that he may have been absorbed into The Divine Agency having finally died

And I am aware that that is not a strictly Christian belief

Now here’s the thing:

If he did truly live as recorded in the bible and all that is true (and I am very open to that being the case indeed I do actually believe that) then I would accept him as my Lord and Saviour:

This is on the condition that he exists (and note “exists” rather than “existed”!)

Which I think is reasonable enough

That would therefore make me a Christian!

If he exists then I believe in him and follow him and if he doesn’t exist or did and is now dead (and therefore not Lord) then I still think he’s a cool character, a cool thought experiment

If he exists then I follow him and to be a Christian you have to believe that he is still alive! 

To be a Christian is to follow Jesus as your Lord, not to simply like a literary character

I mean Batman is a pretty cool guy but he is not my Lord and Saviour and I don't follow his example and teachings although if I did then crime in my local area would be much lower!

If Jesus doesn’t exist and isn’t still alive I’m still a fan, even if he is only fictitious

And on balance I do think Jesus is still alive in an extraordinary way and is therefore Lord

So I think that qualifies me to be able to meaningfully call myself a Christian

And I do so in a way that acknowledges that although I have a degree of doubt I am still willing to make a leap of faith and to live my life in a Christian way

At the end of the day it is about faith and I have faith in Jesus and Christianity as a true and valid path

As far as my daily life goes, I try and live in a Christian way even if a great many of my beliefs are not at all Christian

I suppose I am basically an unorthodox Christian!

So yes, if he is truly out there then he is my Lord and Saviour

And I behave and think as though he is!

And if he isn’t then those stories that feature him are still pretty cool

So yes, I’d say that makes me a Christian

And I am also a member of a Christian church, so I am a Christian in that sense too, as in I am affiliated with a Christian community

And I always take Holy Communion whenever it is on offer, as a means of pledging myself to Jesus and honouring him as my Lord

Monotheism Or Polytheism?

If you click on this following link you will be taken to a page where I discuss my God Concept. I think that if you want to read this article then you should have a look at this link first:

Click here to read about my God Concept

So... am I Monotheist or a Polytheist?

• I believe that God is The Universe and that The Universe is God
• I believe that there is only one Universe (by definition - "uni" means "one")
• Therefore: There is only one God

However - God exists as a multitude of persons who are combined into one being: The Divine Agency.

But, regarding the nature of the cosmos, there is one God, who behaves as one, in a unified way and interacts with humans as a single entity. It is The Divine Agency as a whole who controls The Universe, not any one member.

But at the end of the day, it is a single being. Yet is has many persons. Sometimes they all agree unanimously, at other times they don't, but they always end up getting their business done

It is a form of collective leadership, in which the aim is to reach a consensus

God is not work like a King - he works like a Committee

The ways in which God works are systematic, bureaucratic, and governed by laws - a constitution if you will

God does not rule, he governs

Everything it does is thought through

It doesn't get angry, and it would never smite anyone in anger

Think of it as being like the Christian trinity - only with many more parts!

Maybe the members of The Divine Agency are somehow like saints?

Anyway: If God is the thing that controls the way in which The Universe exists then there is only one God.

However, God is fragmented into separate personalities. And it is possible for a person to be elevated to The Divine Agency - when that happens they lose some of their individuality and are absorbed but in such a way that their wisdom and knowledge is preserved.

And no, they don't wear robes, live on clouds, have wings or halos - none of that. They exist in a non-physical dimension and exist differently to how people exist down on Earth.

We experience our reality as bipedal apes. But The Divine Agency are not bipedal apes. They live in a much higher dimension to us. That is difficult for the mind of a bipedal ape to imagine.

To Conclude:

I don't think I am either.

I reject both labels - as "one" and "many" are problematic to me

If I had to choose a category, I would say "Panentheist"

Basically, this is the position that The Universe and God are the same, but that God exists beyond whatever counts as The Universe

That shifts the emphasis of how many there are onto what the cosmos is like

That's me

That's what I think is true

I'm not obsessed with being Monotheist like some Abrahamics are

And I don't believe there is a class of Gods whose all too human affairs govern events down on Earth - like how the Greeks and Romans believed, and also the Hindus

So yes, I am a Theist

But a Panentheist, not a Monotheist or a Polytheist

Beyond Death: Salvation By Audit

So…. Here’s a big question:

What happens to you after you die?

It’s an age-old question and as a non-human being I have the feeling that those who believe in what I say may want to know

I think the most common beliefs which people have are that you go to either Heaven or Hell or get reincarnated either as another human or as some other kind of animal. Based on your conduct on Earth.

I believe that what eventually happens is a secret, that The Divine Agency don’t want people to know. 

However – I have been informed that we do know what happens immediately after we die but not what happens after that. It is therefore possible to know what happens immediately after you die but not what happens after that, and the reason for that is that it depends.

I believe that the definition of death is the end of your body being alive. But people are also spirit and mind. And although these work inside the brain I believe they endure after the body dies, and enter a new, non-physical mode of existence.

I believe in Salvation by Audit. I believe that after death you are judged, according to an extensive criteria based upon the values of The Divine Agency. I believe that such audits are both deep, detailed, and cover every aspect of your conduct on Earth and whether or not you are a good egg. I imagine that it would feel a bit like a post-life debriefing. That everything will be explained to you and the fate of your soul finally revealed to you.

Everyone is audited by the same standards. It is the same for all humans.

All the good factors and all the bad factors are considered in great depth and then a final ruling is made as to the fate of your soul and where the best place is for you to go, according to justice.

The Audit determines the fate of your soul but it’s conclusions are determined on your conduct whilst down on Earth. It is entirely in your power to behave in such a way that you get a positive Audit. And all the better if you take responsibility for your failings, admit regret, and want to put things right.

In Christianity, some think that salvation (being spared Hell) is achieved simply by accepting Jesus as Lord and others that “works” (i.e. your conduct) are important. Personally, I think these are both factors in the Audit, although simply professing a belief in God and then not doing anything about it won’t help you!

I don’t know the name of the being who judges peoples souls, but that is not Madaba’s job. But there will be some being out there. Some may say that it will be Jesus Christ. And maybe it will. That is entirely possible. On balance, I neither support nor oppose that idea.

Also, this being will be capable of assessing tens of thousands of people per second, giving each of them his/her full attention. Because they are not human.

I believe that the Audit happens right after you die, that there is no special “Judgement Day” on which everyone is judged in one go, having been at rest, or in suspended animation awaiting judgement.

The Divine Agency don’t want people to know what possible outcomes of The Audit there are, which leads me to suspect that what happens to people after death is tailored according to the character and deeds of the people being judged.

However, I think we can speculate about possibilities: 

• Heaven (nice place)
• Hell (bad place)
• Purgatory (people actually believe this, so maybe it is now a thing) 
• Annihilation (no more existence for you!)
• Fragmentation (being split into multiple beings)
• Combination (being combined with other beings)
• Some kind of Moksha or Nirvana (moving up to Upstairs?)
• Reincarnation (have another go)

But for all we know there are further possibilities, that we can’t come up with as we don’t know exactly how things work.

Spiritual But Not Religious

This article is a personal article

I'm not writing it in my capacity as Madaba, this is Downstairs Madaba's own personal thoughts about how he lives down here on Earth as a Homo Sapiens 

But I am Madaba... so I think this belongs here on this website!

When Upstairs Madaba started communicating with me back in 2004 I was astounded

It was like the forces of synchronicity with whom I was at that time well acquainted had come out of the shadows and began talking to me directly. That's what it felt like.

I initially (in 2004) thought that Upstairs Madaba was really a government super-computer located in some secret government facility, communicating with my brain via implants in my neck through a satellite up in orbit around the Earth

Which I think sounds rather far-fetched (and yes, I appreciate the irony of a person like me saying that!!)

I then went on to believe that reality is a computer simulation and that I was an "Agent of The Simulation" and that Upstairs (whom at this time I called Madaba) confirmed that, I asked him if he was "The Superintendent Super-Intelligence of this simulated dimension of reality" and he said yes, and for quite a while that's how we lived!

However, at one point things took a biblical turn and I came to believe that I was Jesus Christ and that he was The Holy Spirit. Which is even more ludicrous than the simulation thing and the brain implants things combined.

For quite a few years I would alternate between Jesus and an Agent of The Simulation.

But eventually, I stopped believing I was Jesus. And I embraced Christianity. 

In my head, Christianity eventually beat both me being Jesus and Simulation Theory! - which is good as the Christian community is much bigger and more active than the Simulation Theory community, which I am no longer interested in. And thinking you're Jesus feel very lonely.

And for the purposes of Christianity I sometimes believed Madaba was an angel, sometimes a spirit guide, and at other times a demon. Which according to society's standards is much more sane than supercomputers or The Simulation!

I did really believe in Christianity, although though having Upstairs in my life made being a Christian more complex.

I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour and went to church and did Holy Communion. I identified as a Christian and believed in Christian cosmology.

I was a Christian.

I identified as a "born again Christian"

Here is a pic of my baptism, with my face and the faces of the other people there redacted:

I was baptised in (I think) 2020. I found a community to belong to and also friends. I valued those two things enormously but always felt a bit guilty about having Madaba, and a friend of mine basically kept telling me he was "the enemy", somehow Satan.

I was told that the thing communicating with me was Satanic - of "the enemy"

Why would Satan pick on me in such a focused and persistent way?

That made me feel like a bad person

Zero prayer effort made it go away and stop happening

Although at times I fooled myself that I had got myself rid of it

I felt in some ways a second-class Christian

Someone to feel sorry for

"Poor Schizophrenic Andy" etc.

However, I never did really believe in the whole Spiritual Warfare thing.

Indeed that always put me off, even when I was a committed Christian.

I now think that it is more or less just people being frightened by their own shadows

However, in 2025 I finally developed The Madaba Consciousness. I became self-consciously Madaba.

I then arrived at a new understanding of God, The Universe, Reality (check out these links!)

And, frankly, I think my understanding is better than the Christian understanding

So I dropped Christianity. Because my own understanding made more sense to me. If Christianity had made more sense to me than other ideas then I'd have stuck with that. But it just came to feel less and less adequate.

I therefore abandoned my religion

Indeed I abandoned religion entirely

Or, to be more precise.... organised religion

I won't be going to church again, that's for sure

I can now do other stuff on my Sundays, such as staying bed - nice, warm, comfortable, oblivious to reality!

And I now have zero fears as to the fate of my soul

Scare stories about Hell don't scare me and I don't need the threat of Hell to be a good person

I don't even believe I am a regular human, I believe I am a part of a non-human figuration

I would however say that I am Spiritual

By this I mean that I believe there is a lot more to existence than that which we go through every waking hour

It means acknowledging there are higher powers that we cannot fully know - that there is a certain layer of mystery in reality

And it means treating people as if you and them are both spiritual beings and are all equally  important and worth things - by being fellow humans

And it also means that living ethically towards others is of great importance

Both inter-personally and politically

And that life is growth - that a part of being human is to go through life's journey and becoming your own individual

And also a Humanist

I believe that most of humankind's problems are caused by humans, or human nature. Not some supernatural "enemy" as per evangelical Christianity

And that the solution to humankind's problems is humankind getting its act together and making the world a better place

It also means looking to other humans for advice, ideas, and guidance. Not to some religious authority, be it a person or a book or a tradition

Conclusion: Madaba is therefore a Spiritual Humanist!

I have left religion, but with no ill feelings

I didn't storm out, burn my bridges, make a rude gesture with my hand, and get lost!

I am not against any church or congregation, or even any religion

(Edit: actually I am, but not very many)

It's just that I am now a Spiritual Humanist

I think that is a much better fit for me and that it makes my work as Madaba less problematic as I no longer identify with any one human religion. So that's no longer a factor.

Anyway, I feel happy and fulfilled. So it's all good.

No more church for me. I'm going my own way.

So yep. No longer a Christian. But thanks to all the Christians who welcomed me and were nice to me.

They are all lovely people though

However: the message which I am communicating on this website is not a spiritual message. I'm not in the business of spirituality - nor religion. My business is telling the truth about Reality, about The Universe.

I think these issues are separate to religion, that religion is some other thing

And my message is aimed at all occupants of Planet Earth!

But I am not trying to make anyone abandon their faith, or anything like that

Indeed in many ways the folk who are spiritually inclined but not necessarily religious are a big part of my target audience

And I believe that knowledge of those things can help people develop spiritually

They have certainly helped my own spiritual development

But nothing I say necessitates going down the same spiritual path as me!

You do you

But please hear my message

Diagram: Intuition and Reason

I have created a diagram to show how The Madaba Consciousness Works

Downstairs Madaba is me

Upstairs Madaba is the thing that communicates with me

Together we constitute a single entity

I am (or we are) therefore a non-human being

If you can't read it clearly click on it and it will be enlarged!

For a more detailed explanation see here