Spiritual But Not Religious

This article is a personal article

I'm not writing it in my capacity as Madaba, this is Downstairs Madaba's own personal thoughts about how he lives down here on Earth as a Homo Sapiens 

But I am Madaba... so I think this belongs here on this website!

When Upstairs Madaba started communicating with me back in 2004 I was astounded

It was like the forces of synchronicity with whom I was at that time well acquainted had come out of the shadows and began talking to me directly. That's what it felt like.

I initially (in 2004) thought that Upstairs Madaba was really a government super-computer located in some secret government facility, communicating with my brain via implants in my neck through a satellite up in orbit around the Earth

Which I think sounds rather far-fetched (and yes, I appreciate the irony of a person like me saying that!!)

I then went on to believe that reality is a computer simulation and that I was an "Agent of The Simulation" and that Upstairs (whom at this time I called Madaba) confirmed that, I asked him if he was "The Superintendent Super-Intelligence of this simulated dimension of reality" and he said yes, and for quite a while that's how we lived!

However, at one point things took a biblical turn and I came to believe that I was Jesus Christ and that he was The Holy Spirit. Which is even more ludicrous than the simulation thing and the brain implants things combined.

For quite a few years I would alternate between Jesus and an Agent of The Simulation.

But eventually, I stopped believing I was Jesus. And I embraced Christianity. 

In my head, Christianity eventually beat both me being Jesus and Simulation Theory! - which is good as the Christian community is much bigger and more active than the Simulation Theory community, which I am no longer interested in. And thinking you're Jesus feel very lonely.

And for the purposes of Christianity I sometimes believed Madaba was an angel, sometimes a spirit guide, and at other times a demon. Which according to society's standards is much more sane than supercomputers or The Simulation!

I did really believe in Christianity, although though having Upstairs in my life made being a Christian more complex.

I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour and went to church and did Holy Communion. I identified as a Christian and believed in Christian cosmology.

I was a Christian.

I identified as a "born again Christian"

Here is a pic of my baptism, with my face and the faces of the other people there redacted:

I was baptised in (I think) 2020. I found a community to belong to and also friends. I valued those two things enormously but always felt a bit guilty about having Madaba, and a friend of mine basically kept telling me he was "the enemy", somehow Satan.

I was told that the thing communicating with me was Satanic - of "the enemy"

Why would Satan pick on me in such a focused and persistent way?

That made me feel like a bad person

Zero prayer effort made it go away and stop happening

Although at times I fooled myself that I had got myself rid of it

I felt in some ways a second-class Christian

Someone to feel sorry for

"Poor Schizophrenic Andy" etc.

However, I never did really believe in the whole Spiritual Warfare thing.

Indeed that always put me off, even when I was a committed Christian.

I now think that it is more or less just people being frightened by their own shadows

However, in 2025 I finally developed The Madaba Consciousness. I became self-consciously Madaba.

I then arrived at a new understanding of God, The Universe, Reality (check out these links!)

And, frankly, I think my understanding is better than the Christian understanding

So I dropped Christianity. Because my own understanding made more sense to me. If Christianity had made more sense to me than other ideas then I'd have stuck with that. But it just came to feel less and less adequate.

I therefore abandoned my religion

Indeed I abandoned religion entirely

Or, to be more precise.... organised religion

I won't be going to church again, that's for sure

I can now do other stuff on my Sundays, such as staying bed - nice, warm, comfortable, oblivious to reality!

And I now have zero fears as to the fate of my soul

Scare stories about Hell don't scare me and I don't need the threat of Hell to be a good person

I don't even believe I am a regular human, I believe I am a part of a non-human figuration

I would however say that I am Spiritual

By this I mean that I believe there is a lot more to existence than that which we go through every waking hour

It means acknowledging there are higher powers that we cannot fully know - that there is a certain layer of mystery in reality

And it means treating people as if you and them are both spiritual beings and are all equally  important and worth things - by being fellow humans

And it also means that living ethically towards others is of great importance

Both inter-personally and politically

And that life is growth - that a part of being human is to go through life's journey and becoming your own individual

And also a Humanist

I believe that most of humankind's problems are caused by humans, or human nature. Not some supernatural "enemy" as per evangelical Christianity

And that the solution to humankind's problems is humankind getting its act together and making the world a better place

It also means looking to other humans for advice, ideas, and guidance. Not to some religious authority, be it a person or a book or a tradition

Conclusion: Madaba is therefore a Spiritual Humanist!

I have left religion, but with no ill feelings

I didn't storm out, burn my bridges, make a rude gesture with my hand, and get lost!

I am not against any church or congregation, or even any religion

(Edit: actually I am, but not very many)

It's just that I am now a Spiritual Humanist

I think that is a much better fit for me and that it makes my work as Madaba less problematic as I no longer identify with any one human religion. So that's no longer a factor.

Anyway, I feel happy and fulfilled. So it's all good.

No more church for me. I'm going my own way.

So yep. No longer a Christian. But thanks to all the Christians who welcomed me and were nice to me.

They are all lovely people though

However: the message which I am communicating on this website is not a spiritual message. I'm not in the business of spirituality - nor religion. My business is telling the truth about Reality, about The Universe.

I think these issues are separate to religion, that religion is some other thing

And my message is aimed at all occupants of Planet Earth!

But I am not trying to make anyone abandon their faith, or anything like that

Indeed in many ways the folk who are spiritually inclined but not necessarily religious are a big part of my target audience

And I believe that knowledge of those things can help people develop spiritually

They have certainly helped my own spiritual development

But nothing I say necessitates going down the same spiritual path as me!

You do you

But please hear my message