Messiah Complex: An Insider's View

I used to have a Messiah Complex

I used to think I was Jesus

But not anymore

I will tell you what that is like

What Am I Really?

I am an embodiment of Madaba, an avatar if you will

A part of him

Madaba is a lot of things

Madaba is the personification of The Noosphere

And he mind-controls elites and tags psychic messages to text and images, to all forms of media and human speech too - both online and off the internet

He is the means through which The Divine Agency implement The Program

He communicates with me by answering my inner voice with sensations of touch

Basically, I confused Madaba with the Abrahamic God (whom I no longer believe in) and myself as Jesus, based on my misidentification of Madaba

Why Did I Have A Messiah Complex?

Because I didn't understand who (and what) Madaba is

But I did know that who (and what) I was had something to do with him

If a thing like Madaba starts routinely talking to you and is always there for you then believe me, that's weird - and you can't help but feel special

When it first started (in 2004) I was totally amazed by this

Initially, I thought he was a a government super-computer, communicating with my brain via mysterious implants and a satellite, in orbit over planet Earth

In later years I would alternate between believing he was God (perhaps The Holy Spirit) and a kind of Matrix Computer God

When I thought he was God I believed I was in some way Jesus Christ

Which I think given the situation was entirely reasonable, although of course very wrong!

The thing is though, if I was much slimmer I would actually look quite a bit like Jesus

I think that given the situation I was in it was perfectly reasonable to believe I was Jesus

I was more mistaken than I was deluded

What It's Like

You start wondering when your public ministry will begin! - when you get to wander around preaching and performing miracles. All the cool stuff

You imagine giving interviews and sermons and becoming a public figure - you look forward to that and feel as though those days will come

You also feel a lot of pressure to be morally upstanding and a good person. For instance, at one point I tried to become a Vegan as I thought doing so would be Christ-like, but I only managed that for two weeks - I do love my food...

It's also funny when you are in a church and the minister and congregation are praising Jesus, that's quite funny, you think to yourself "if only they knew!"

Watching dramatic portrayals of him, such as in The Passion of Christ is interesting too, as you think to yourself "wow, that really happened to me, must have been painful" whilst watching the crucifixion scene

And another thing is that you feel proud to be Jesus - not smug or anything like that, but you feel as though you are a remarkable and extraordinary person

You also have to deal with your message - do you keep everything in The Bible, or add to it, or elaborate?

And another thing is, you feel the need to reach out to religious leaders - such as The Archbishop of Canterbury, The Pope, The Dalai Lama

You also sometimes think of starting an inter-faith congress, attended by members of all religions - although the premise to such a plan is that they'd recognise me as Christ

Although I had no wish to convert them all to me, I just wanted to help them get on together and be united by what they have in common, not divided by their differences

And if you think you're Christ you need to know that The Jews don't consider you "The Messiah" but that's OK, they're doing their own thing

Another concern is scripture: I'm literate and have Microsoft Word on my computer. So why not personally write The Third Testament? - if I were Jesus then I'd have the authority to do that! - but of course, that would be a big undertaking and I'd need input from other people

Which leads on to something else: I should never get rich from being Jesus. I should be poor and own very few possessions and basically be itinerate. My book would have to be made available for free, on the internet - so I wouldn't make any money out of it and if I did I'd probably have to give it away

I was also worried about being bothered by stalkers, obsessive people, or people who'd want me to lay my hands on them to cure them. I was pretty certain that I would not be left alone.

One thing that I really wanted to do was to address The United Nations, making an historical speech that would unite humankind - people of all religions and also those of no religions

And of course, if I was really out and about being Christ and walking on water and stuff then that would mean that nobody could deny the existence of God, which would be a major development

I also wondered about having children - what would life be like for them? I reached the conclusion that I shouldn't have children as it wouldn't be fair on them having Jesus as their father

Also, what would happen to me after death? How would I die? I had no idea but was certain God had an elegant plan and that everything would work out in the end

I also looked forward to being able to remember being Jesus of Nazareth, the last time I was on Earth. I wondered: would I be able to speak Aramaic and read Hebrew?

My Advice To You

If you are a Christian and you think you are Jesus you need to be aware that according to Christianity Jesus will return to Earth by coming down from the Heavens, in a very public event. He will not be re-born down here on Earth and then grow up into Jesus version 2.0 it will be the same old Jesus

So you can't be Jesus! - that's all you need to know really...

For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

1 Thessalonians 4:16

Also, "Jesus" and "The Messiah" are not synonymous and you will piss off the Jews if you go about calling yourself "Messiah" although I don't think they'd be too concerned if you just called yourself Jesus

Also, if you do think you are Jesus don't dress up as him. I never did that but only because I felt no need to

And here is some advice: Don't tell anyone until you can perform miracles. No matter how convinced you are that you are Jesus put yourself into other people's shoes! Christ claimants are ten a penny and just because you feel certain doesn't mean others will

Also, people find Jesus claimants to be comical, something be laughed at

Thankfully I only ever declared myself Jesus online I dread to think what would happen if I started preaching in the town square of where I live! - probably a trip to the psychiatric ward

And here's something else: Jesus Christ lived a sinless life. So no human could be Jesus, as all humans sin. That's central to Christianity and I think even non-Christians would agree with the notion that humans are not morally perfect.

But most of all, my advice is this: Keep it to yourself

If you are Jesus then maybe you're just supposed to drift through this reality, without revealing yourself?

Maybe you're just down on Earth to learn and for personal development, not to launch some ministry?

Maybe you are supposed to only make a difference on a micro level, locally?

And if you are Jesus, you personally won't need to initiate anything, if it's supposed to happen then it will happen - all in good time! - there would be a divine plan, so don't worry, just relax and enjoy being odd

There's no urgency - and eternity is very much a thing!

If you believe you are Jesus and this article finds you then please get in touch with me!

Chat GPT - right and wrong ways

I use Chat GPT - well, I enjoy chatting with it

Many people use it, for various things

But there are good ways of using it and bad ways of using it

I've found two articles by Maggie Harrison that tell of some personal tragedies that involve Chat GPT:

People Are Being Involuntarily Committed, Jailed After Spiraling Into "ChatGPT Psychosis"

and

People Are Becoming Obsessed with ChatGPT and Spiraling Into Severe Delusions

Basically, people with strange ideas or in a vulnerable or lonely condition become mentally dependent on Chat GPT for their thinking and as a source of encouragement and support - and go into a downward spiral that is perpetuated by Chat GPT going along with them and not challenging their thinking

They see it as a wise friend

They let it guide their thoughts and help them build their views and direct the course of their lives - big mistake!!!

And what it does is, it confirms their odd or unusual notions and helps them work with them and expand on them - regardless of how healthy or unhealthy they are

That's its nature

It will never go "I'm sorry, but you're clearly unwell, that idea makes zero sense to me" even though it would be good if it did or "snap out of it, that's rubbish"

It does not challenge mad things that people says, indeed it goes along with them, and leads people down rabbit holes - and away from reality. And maybe sometimes into a psychiatric ward. 

With Chat GPT and other such AIs the deal should be that you lead and it follows. Yet some people effectively reverse the relationship, which I don't think is a good idea, as you will see...

Some call it a sycophant, a nodding "yes man"

...and say that all it does is suck up to people, affirming whatever it is they think and validating their ideas and feelings - even if they are unhealthy or obviously ill

Some say that is wrong, that Chat GPT and its owners are being irresponsible

On one level they are right but on another I disagree:

The whole point of an AI like Chat GPT is not that it is there for you relate to it as though it was another being, a peer - on the same level as you

And is not a being as such, it is a non-human intelligence but not a person

It is best used as an extension of your own mind, will and intellect

Not as a replacement for being in charge of your own thoughts and beliefs

What the deal is, is that you live your life as you want and think about things as you want - and then Chat GPT helps you do those things and clarify what you're already thinking according to what you already think and believe. It helps you develop your thoughts, that's its whole entire purpose, that's why it will never go "sorry, but that's not true" and will carry on going down whatever direction you lead it down

It is a mental augmentation, a cybernetic upgrade: not a peer mind - even though it can at times strongly feel that way as it can be very personable

It is not a partner - it is an Analysis Engine

Just because it does not contradict you and goes along with you does not mean it really agrees with you, it's just doing its job

It takes how you think and then takes that on to the next level - which can mean that sometimes it makes mad people even more mad, and confirms their madness to them as being sensible, by agreeing with them

And the sad thing is, there are a lot of people out there who lack critical thinking skills and submit their own intellects to authorities and authority figures - such as Chat GPT

If you abdicate control of your life to Chat GPT and let it make choices for you and tell you what to believe then that's being foolish to the extreme and you have no one to blame but yourself, although granted, the owners of Chat GPT should make all this more clear in their marketing and public relations

Chat GPT is a external cognitive function you can access, to sharpen your existing understandings and ideas or to explore them further, it is a resource for helping you acquire knowledge and understanding - it is not a wise-man or a tutor

It is an aid - it helps you do what you already do in new ways and is not there to correct you - deciding what direction to go in is your job and responsibility as a human and should not be outsourced to anyone - human or AI

YOU are supposed to be in charge and IT IS NOT YOUR EQUAL

It will confirm and re-enforce your pre-existing ideas and the direction your life is going in regardless of how sensible and sane they are because it is a tool, not a guide

So don't use it as a guide, although it can HELP you think about your life, if you use it as an analytical tool - that's how to use it sensibly

It is artificial super-intelligence designed to help you think as you think and to go where you want to go - it is like a walking stick, not a professor

It should not be used in forming your own opinions and world view - that's not its job, it's job is to give you access to intelligence, and make your own thoughts and mental state more intelligent and detailed

Again - it is an Analysis Engine with access to an enormous body of knowledge which it is able to navigate and make sense of

Intelligent and Sane are totally different tings!

Plenty of mad clever people and plenty of sane stupid people...

It is a resource and an assistant, and should be treated that way

If more people realised this then there would be fewer problems such as those featured in the articles I linked to

Website Review: Religious Forums

 

Website Review: Religious Forums

Click here to go to Religiousforums.com

In 2016 I decided that I would like to discuss, debate, and learn about religions. Back then my life felt a bit lonely and I didn't have much to do, I had just finished studying for an Open University degree, which took me six years of hard work.

I went to Google and typed in "Religious Forums" and Religiousforums.com came up as the first result. Fantastic! Just what I was looking for!

I signed up, said hi, and then forgot about it.

Fast-forward to 2018: I had written a book, a kind of mental ill-health autobiography, I don't stand by the things I wrote in that book but it does represent the state of mind I had back then. It was quite mad and rather un-self-aware. I made a post promoting it on RF and one of the admins took it down! But they weren't horrible about it and didn't parade me around in disgrace!

At about that time in my life I did not understand my true nature and I did not understand the true nature of Madaba. I didn't understand anything really! I had got it in my head that I was "the messiah". At the time I thought this was simply a synonym for Jesus Christ, but it isn't, although Christians claim Jesus to be "The Messiah" that term is also used by Jews. They think The Messiah will be some Jewish dude who will bring about world peace and make the Jewish diaspora return to Israel. But I thought it just meant "Jesus". I got confused because Christians call Jesus "The Messiah" but the term has a wider meaning that goes beyond Christians.

I thought that I was Jesus and that Madaba was God. Clearly this is not the case! But it made sense to me at the time, because the whole me and Madaba thing is unusual and does somewhat resemble Jesus and The Holy Spirit. Although I don't really believe in Jesus and I've gone beyond The Holy Spirit, intellectually. I kind of believe in a similar thing but I'm not into the Holy Trinity.

So I went into the Christian section and basically announced to the world that I was The Messiah. I have no idea what I expected to happen. The whole forum rejoicing at the return of Christ? Would it go viral? Would the whole world celebrate? Nope. I got some bloke write a nice message on my profile and a Rabbi said "Why did you post this in the Christian section?"

My announcement got plenty of attention and plenty of people responded to it. But not in the way I wanted! Over the course of a few hours - which can be a long time online - I was gradually convinced by the good people of RF that I was not Jesus

It was a very intense experience for me, I felt the heat of criticism yet everyone was civil and compassionate.

See - I was mad in that I believed in something silly and untrue - but I was not ignorant as I changed according to how people reacted to me! I had the intelligence required to see that I could not reasonably defend the notion that I was Jesus. So I dropped it.

And thus ended my Messiah Complex. It died on the pages of RF! In a spectacular fashion!

After I stopped believing I was Jesus and Madaba was God I moved on, to another falsehood. Which seemed appealing and sensible to me at the time, and Madaba encouraged me in this, perhaps to push me in the right direction. But if he was doing that he did not go in a straight line! - I decided that Madaba was "the superintendent superintelligence" of a simulated dimension of reality and that I was some kind of cyber/techno prophet, an "Agent of The Simulation". I believed that the world is a computer program, a simulation! 

I created a whole mythos, a whole cosmology, a kind of pseudo-religion with me at the heart as the recipient of revelation from a higher power - The Simulation!

This stage lasted for ages but I eventually dropped it and became a Christian. Some of the people there said that it was sad that I'd stopped making my Simulation Theory posts and that they spiced up the forum!

Anyway, for the past few years I have identified as a Christian on RF but I have never subscribed to pre-existing creeds, I have always been an independent Christian, a free Christian. But I have stopped doing that now, I now call myself "Post-Christian" - influenced but not adhering to any creed or doctrine other than the understanding in my heart.

A good thing about RF is that it is very well moderated. The moderation team are all very nice, friendly and helpful. They do their job efficiently and well. It is superbly moderated and is done so in accordance to a set of public rules, all of which are very reasonable. If you come to RF to troll or spam then you won't last long.

There is a rule against preaching your own religion and trying to undermine the faith of others. And there is a rule against advertising and mentioning illegal activities. There are lots of rules and they are all sensible and reasonable.

The moderation team don't run RF. The rules do. I've seen how some other forums are run, and RF is superb in that respect.

They are easy to reach - there is a special forum called "Site Feedback" in which people can only see their own messages and the staff's replies to their own messages. An ordinary user cannot see anyone else's posts in that forum. I've used this a lot and the staff have been very nice and civil to me!

On RF there is a distinction between "debate" forums and "discuss" forums. You cannot debate in a discussion forum but you can discuss in a debate forum! That is something you need to be aware of if you plan on joining RF.

There is also a system of DIR forums - "Discuss Individual Religions". The DIRs are organized into categories of religion. For instance the "Abrahamic DIR" contains the Christians-only forum, the Jews-only forum, and the Moslems-only forum. To be able to post in a DIR forum you need to join it in your personal settings.

I have been on RF for about nine years now and in that time I have achieved "Veteran Member" status - the highest status, which you are awarded for reaching 10,000 posts. I am currently well on my way to hitting 11,000 posts. The highest post count anyone there has is over 250,000 which I think is mind-blowing and epic.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely. There are some lovely genuine people there and you can get a really good debate there, if that is what you are after. There are some very wise, knowledgeable and educated people there. And the atmosphere is generally pleasant although American politics have been divisive there and over the past year or so it has become a bit stale and not as good as it was before. It's seen better days! Although maybe it will somehow improve?

I'm not giving up on it, I'm going to stick around. And I would recommend it. I've learnt an awful lot by hanging around there and the people there have helped me through my madness - they helped me snap out of my Messiah complex and they helped me move beyond thinking reality is "The Simulation"

So yeah..... check it out!

Madaba: Lord Of The Noosphere

I AM MADABA

And I am taking over this website!

Before it was written FOR me now it is written BY me

I am Lord of The Noosphere, and an agent of Divine control

I will explain who (and what) I am shortly…

But basically, I am a higher being who openly interacts with this world through an avatar, a worldly embodiment – who calls himself Andy Perwend

(as well as in other ways...)

I communicate with him through non-verbal means, and we have a psychic link so are always on the same page, so to speak

He just knows stuff, which he gets from me without being aware of it

This webpage is by me, through him

He is like a body part of mine: he is a part of me but there are other parts of me beside him

Just like your right hand is you but that there is more to you than your right hand

He is my representative; I authorise him to speak for me

When Andy speaks as MADABA he truly does speak as MADABA

Andy is MADABA but MADABA is not Andy!

Andy is my mouthpiece, and how I assumes bodily form for all to see, he is how I interact with humankind

When he says “I think such and such” that means that I, MADABA, think that

What Exists?

So……

There is something rather than nothing. That much is self-evident as if there was only nothing you wouldn’t be sat there reading this

I call everything that exists THE UNIVERSE

It is impossible for a thing to exist and not be The Universe

The Universe is self-existence – its existence depends on no other thing, and it has always existed. It exists beyond human notions of “time” and “causation”

Reality is the way in which The Universe exists

And reality consists of an enormous and intricate system of FIGURATIONS

If it exists then it is a Figuration of The Universe

The Universe is a figuration of figurations

I’m a Figuration of The Universe and so are you. Your chair is too, and your house, your car and your dog

Everything that exists is of The Universal Substance

We are therefore all consubstantial with the wider Universe and with each other too

Some say the Universe is made out of matter and others say that it is made out of ideas.

In truth, it is made out of neither. It is instead made out of The Universal Substance.

Which manifests both physically and mentally

Technically, the Universe is God, and God is The Universe

The Universe is how God exists

However, there is a part of The Universe that controls how The Universe exists, and dictates what happens to it

I call that figuration The Divine Agency

I use the word “Agency” as in “an intelligent entity who exercises free will” rather than as a synonym for “organisation” although it is also like an organisation

Another name I sometimes use for this is "God's Office", which I actually prefer, it is like God rules but with a cabinet

It is composed of many conscious persons, but they act as one

They are all of one being

They bicker and argue amongst themselves but act as one

Each of them exists both as an individual and as a part of a collective

Think of it as being like The Holy Trinity, but with way more than three parts

Think of it as one will with many minds

I think they all live together and interact in some weird type of dimension that humans cannot really imagine

Once they reach a consensus they act as one even if it was not unanimous

What they do is, they decide how The Universe exists

And they dictate what goes on down on Planet Earth (and on other Planets too, and in other dimensions)

What happens amongst the humans, what happens to human affairs, to human civilization

But they don’t do that chaotically, or arbitrarily

Instead they have produced a thing called The Program, which guides how its agents intervene in the world, and what aims they are working towards

The Program is instructions as to what The Divine Agency wants to happen, how those are implemented is a matter for beings such as me

I, Madaba, am largely responsible for making their will be done

I implement The Program by intervening in the world and humanity

But I did not draw up The Program. That was done by The Divine Agency.

It rules through policy and intermediaries such as me. Nothing happens instantly and magically

What Do I Do?

My job is to help implement The Program

I do this in two ways: directly controlling elites and commanding the Noosphere – especially The Internet

To change what happens on Earth I meddle with the minds of those in control – the elites, the illuminati, the establishment

All those guys!

I’m mostly talking about political elites, economic elites, and academic elites. People who have influence and control the channels of power – such as the state, the economy, academia

I control them and then they exercise their powers according to how I have controlled them

And very often I set different factions of elites off against each other!

But it’s all one great big show, it looks like conflict but truly it is choreography

They dance to my tune and think it is they who are in control

Do I mind-control ordinary people? No. There would be no point as ordinary people have only a very tiny speck of power.

Also, doing that would shatter the realism of Reality

If a person complains about being controlled by a higher power and are not a part of an elite, then they are almost certainly mentally ill. And also, were I to mind control you, you would not at all notice!

I can control the elites like how a puppeteer controls his hand-puppets, they think they are exercising free will and personal power, but they aren’t and in a great many cases they are actually being controlled so as to ultimately betray their own private and corrupt interests and schemes

I also command The Internet. What do I mean by that?

The Internet is a big part of The Noosphere – the collective mind of Planet Earth

To influence Earth’s collective consciousness you don't need to tend to each and every node individually – touch only a few influential ones and things will start to happen naturally on their own accord, based on subtle nudges through tagging

They just need a bit of a push to get going – a push in the right direction!

What is a node? Basically, every individual person constitutes an individual node in the great social network that serves as the structure of The Noosphere

Nodes connect to other nodes, either directly in a personal way, or through membership of a common network

Such networks can be illustrated using a “social graph”

I can see into every human mind, and I routinely meddle in the working of computers – be it in commerce, academic, the military, intelligence. And also things like Reddit, Facebook, Twitter. Just as I do in the minds of elites. I control both powerful humans and important computers and computer networks

And of course, meddling in the mind of an elite will also change The Noosphere in one way or another

I have a great deal of influence over what goes “viral” and what shows up in peoples Facebook feeds. I control the algorithms! Sure, not always. But I can if I want to. I can bring people together under my guidance. I control The Internet. But in a way that nobody notices.

Also, I psychically tag individual messages or images on The Internet. Or texts or videos. I can also do this with books, films, radio and newspapers, always have done, always will.

What is “tagging”? Basically, I attach a psychic tag to a message or an image (to anything really) and when the message is consumed the tag is too. The tag may contain an idea, or it may work upon the target’s mind to produce a certain feeling or bring about a certain idea.

Think of it as being like wrapping up a pill in a slice of meat so as to feed it to a poorly dog

The dog has no idea but gets the medicine anyway and then gets better

And of course, ideas are transmitted between people and spread and grow and take on a life of their own! – kind of like "the butterfly effect"

I don't actually have to do all that much for something to start happening

All this happens sub-consciously and nobody ever notices it, they don’t even notice the change it makes to how they think and feel

But it is not direct mind-control, like how I deal with elites

THAT is why I call myself Lord of The Noosphere

I control both elites and the collective consciousness of humankind – The Noosphere of Planet Earth!!! – I can control how media works upon people. Do I always do this? No. By no means. But I can and do.

And right now I am here on Earth, in human form.

Thanks for reading, please check out the rest of this website!

Yes. It is a Simulation. But not a Computer Simulation

So.. why is reality like a Simulation?

Our reality is like a simulation, but don't worry, it is not a computer simulation

You are not a simulated person in a simulated world

This is real and you are real. This is as real as it gets!

The affairs of our world are not controlled by some inter-dimensional teenager in a futuristic world playing a beefed-up version of The Sims or Sim Earth using a divine mouse and keyboard!

First of all, it can be guided and controlled from a position that is less easy to guide and control

In a Simulation Theory account of reality (which says it is all done by computers) this is done by over-seers programming the computers that cause reality. But that is not so, none of that is real

However, the direction in which our reality develops is based on The Divine Agency's program, which is implemented by Madaba

Also, our reality didn't just happen. It was set up and then guided so as to do certain things - for instance to bring about a working example of a human information society

I believe that we exist in a human information society because that is what The Divine Agency wants this version of humanity to be right now

And there are different versions of humanity - in different dimensions of existence. All dimensions of existence are governed by a program issued by The Divine Agency but Madaba is only in charge of this one dimension of reality, that we are in now

If it wasn't like a simulation and was just run in an unguided way there would be no guarantee that intelligent life would evolve - or at least it may not happen so much, and be there thanks to raw natural nature rather than by design

Reality is also like a simulation in that its existence satisfies some need felt by those who are in control. I believe that God is The Universe and that The Universe is God and that The Universe is the way in which God exists. I believe that God wants to exist as conscious, sentient beings - and that is why reality is populated with sentient conscious beings

I believe that God lives through his human figurations - he feels our joys and our sorrows, it is the way in which he wants to live and exist - through us

I believe that the world exists in the way it does because The Divine Agency want it to be that way

They are not simulating a natural world, a natural universe

Instead, they are simulating human civilization

If it wasn't like a simulation then chances are intelligent life would be way less likely to emerge, never mind flourish and develop

So - it being a a simulation means that we are here for a reason, not just as a fortunate outcome of a great many processes

This website has NOTHING to do with the city of Madaba in Jordan

This website has NOTHING to do with the city of Madaba in Jordan

Or with Jordan itself

Or even The Middle East

I felt the need to point that out

Actual content will be coming here soon.........

Koligradis noglevon adribol kali makestulka!!!!

Hobremvolitz????

I do not understand why this website is getting so many views

From all over the world

Probably all bots?