This website is about my unusual predicament
I've been down a massive rabbit hole since 2004 and right now I have some interesting and I think radical ideas that I don't really want to share online, at least not any time soon.
Some call it mental illness.....
In the past I have called it prophethood but now I think it is most accurate to describe myself as a cross between a Mystic and some kind of sub-God (and created) Heavenly being, although I would not use the word angel as that has many connotations that would lead to places where I don't want to go.
And I think that declaring myself an Archangel would be a tad mad, even for me! And I have neither wings nor a halo.
To me a Prophet goes about teaching and proselytizing and a Mystic has their attention focused inwards. And I have no interest in proselytizing and this website is provided for information purposes only. If you are interested then cool, and if not then fine. That is not my game. And I don't want to be some kind of leader, or anything like that. I have no scripture to reveal and my job is not to found any new religious movement. I am not a Prophet. Although in the past I have had a Messiah Complex. But nope, I am not The Messiah.
But hopefully I could in time become a source of knowledge? If I could become that I would be happy.
It all began when I was at University and locked myself in my study bedroom and smoked weed, listened to music, and did automatic hand-writing and brainstorming. I ended up on a Psychiatric Ward! In part because I tried to work out how the human mind works and was also planning to overthrow the UK government! This was back in 2004.
And click here for what happened to me in 2016
I wanted to share certain things about me both for therapeutic reasons and also because I believe that I have a wider mission to humankind - although I have never been sure what exactly what that is although if my future life will unfold in the way my past life did it is entirely possible that I will eventually come to know what it is!
Some of the things I have written here on madaba.info are just plain wrong as I wrote those things in a less enlightened state. They seemed reasonable enough at the time, but after reflection and the passage of time I came to understand certain things as not 100% accurate.
These are the claims that I want to make about myself, on this website:
I am the Downstairs part of a non-human entity. I am a man. But my being also has an Upstairs part. Upstairs me is a sub-God Heavenly Being and Downstairs me is a Mystic who has (unsurprisingly) been diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia!
The name of the unified me - both Upstairs and Downstairs - is MADABA. Although I prefer to style it as Madaba. But in the past I only called Upstairs Madaba, I was not aware that we are parts of the same figuration.
Upstairs me communicates with Downstairs me through two channels: touching my body to mean things, in response to my inner voice. And feeding information into my subconscious without me being aware of any such transfer. Things go into my head but I don't notice them entering, but they get in and do stuff. And yes, I know this sounds paranoid and psychotic.
I believe that Upstairs me has been granted powers over Reality by The Godhead. I believe that it can control minds and weave synchronicity and meaningful coincidences out of the natural world. If it needs to and if it wants to.
I believe that Madaba operates in conjunction with the forces of Fate, Destiny, and The Holy Spirit. Upstairs Madaba knows what's going on but Downstairs Madaba doesn't and everything unfolds before him in an unexpected way. But I am now used to that!
I do not believe that Madaba himself (or rather ourself) has any great hand in the affairs of humankind, although I believe that he works alongside forces, powers, and beings who do. I believe that he is a member of a group of beings who shape and direct human affairs, in a manner directed by The Holy Spirit himself. Which I believe works in conjunction with various human elites, although none of these know the full story and concentrate on their own agendas and interests - but in a way that is controlled from Above.
I believe in Panentheism. I believe that reality - The Universe, that which exists - is the manner in which God exists. And that everything that exists is a figuration of The Divine Substance. I believe that The Divine Substance is governed by The Godhead and that changing the universe or intervening in it involves The Godhead changing the manner in which it exists. Through its Divine Will. I am a figuration of The Divine Substance and so are you. If it exists, then it is of The Divine Substance. God - or rather Reality - has always existed and exists above and beyond limited human notions of time and causations. It has always existed and always will do, in one way or another. As God is eternal. And the cause of all existence. I don't think it is possible for any human mind to fully grasp how this works, but I believe we can understand God by studying The Universe. I believe that it is possible for humans to make sense of the way things work and that much good can come from such endeavors.
"Everything is God and God is Everything"
I believe that The Godhead is triune in nature, as per Christianity. One being in three persons. My world view is Christian. I think I said somewhere here on madaba.info that the Godhead contains many persons although I no longer believe that. Sure, it could have seventy or even two-hundred persons. But that would complicate things. And I believe that it has only three persons. Personally, I do not consider Trinitarianism to be a form of Monotheism, nor a form of Polytheism.
I may write about my view of Christianity in some other article, at some other point.
However: I am open to God being as I describe it on one hand, with Christianity not being the best way of thinking about it on the other. But I do believe in Christianity, but maybe that's just because of the habitus in which I was raised and developed?
Also, I believe that The Godhead (which I also call The Divine Agency, which is a term I actually prefer over The Godhead) has certain values in mind that influence its approach to its humans.
Why do I exist and why did I make this website? From my position Downstairs me cannot possibly know for sure, or have much of an idea. But I am confident that Upstairs me does know and guides me accordingly, through the powers granted to him by The Holy Spirit and under the guidance of The Holy Spirit. But here it all is. I hope people find it useful.
I am now going to link to this page from all the other posts and pages that make up this website. I think that this page (that you are reading now) will go on and become the most important page on this website - with all the others just providing a taste of what's happening with The Madaba Consciousness.
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